What I don't enjoy, are annoying holiday shoppers. Here are five I'd like you to meet. Please, if you find that you fit one of the descriptions, REPENT AND GET HELP...STAT!
- Ms. All-Up-On-Your-Booty. She's the one who refuses to give you at least two feet of personal space as you are waiting to pay for all of your goodies in line. The more you inch forward, the more she does too. If you can feel her breathing on you, or if you can't take a step backward, she's too close! Next time this happens to me, I'm going to ask her if she'd like to pay for my stuff since she and I are "one"!
- Mr. Door-Ding-Demon. He's the guy who drives the wrong way down the parking aisle and insists on pulling into the spot next to you. He parks crookedly; barely leaving room for you to back out or open your door. He cares nothing about the huge door ding he leaves on your door as he wiggles his 6'4" self out of his Chevy Aveo. This fool drives me crazy. It only takes a second to straighten your car up. Next time this happens to me, I'm going to leave him a note saying, "Because of the door ding you left me, you should think twice about starting your car."
- Little Miss Shopper-in-Training. This is the little girl who's mother allows her to push the shopping cart during the busy holiday season. It's all cute and stuff until you suddenly have a pain shooting from your Achilles tendon to the bottom of your butt cheek because she ran into your heels with the cart. You know that pain that makes you nearly dig up your sinful ways and curse? Uh huh, that one. Next time this happens to me, I'm going to take all of the toys out of her cart and tell her that her license is now suspended.
- Mrs. Stop-Dead-In-Her-Tracks. You know her. She's the shopper who decides to defy the flow of foot traffic and stop right in the middle of the mall. And nine times out of ten, she stops right in front of you. What is she doing? I mean, can she put on her imaginary blinker and pull herself off to the side while she digs in her purse, answers her phone, decides on whether or not to go into a store, count the rest of her Christmas spending budget, or whatever else she does when going from 45 MPH down to 0? How rude! Next time I'm behind someone like this, I'm going to walk right into the back of them and cause a chain reaction. I promise you, mall cops on Segways should be able to write them a ticket.
- Ms. Cash-Register-Price-Negotiator. Before I go into this person, let me say that when I'm paying for my items and the wrong price shows up, I will definitely ask for a price check because let's face it, who wants to pay more when they don't have to? But what makes Ms. Cash-Register-Price-Negotiator different from me, is that she has a cart full of stuff, and then begins to question the price of at least 30% of the items in her basket. I mean, most stores have those little price check thingies where you can check the prices BEFORE you get in front of the cashier. Did she not notice those? Is she hoping the cashier will get sick of her saying, "I thought those were $5.99 and not $6.49" and give her the lower price? I would get out of line by this point, but Ms. All-Up-On-Your-Booty is operating at 100% so...next time this happens to me...heck, I don't know what I'll do. What would you do?
Welp, that completes my rant. I hope you don't match any of these descriptions. If you do, please do as I wrote earlier and repent immediately!
Are there more annoying people I failed to mention? Please describe them below!!!